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In Memoriam
Tribute to Our Friend, Jose I was in Genoa, Italy 2 weeks ago, on June 18th at the welcome reception for the participants of ICF(M)A and IACFA who were to declare on the following day the historical act of merging into one united organization: the CFW - Cystic Fibrosis Worldwide. Walking around the auditorium meeting old and new acquaintances, I was happy to see my good friend Aisha Ramos from Spain, and we greeted one another after not seeing one another for a year. And then, a whisper in my ear "Jose passed away two days ago…" I missed a few heartbeats. I knew, as the rest of IACFA's EC members that Jose would not come to Genoa. However, in spite of his great desire to be with the rest of the 'band' - he couldn't make it as he was waiting for a transplant to save his life. So both he and we knew that at this time we would have to be apart, but that we would certainly update and share any experiences with him later, as he was an integral member of our group. Jose tried, Jose fought, and he reached the entrance of "the Promised Land": the stage of transplantation, but he did not make it, and to that Promised Land of renewed life he did not arrive. Jose for me was a very close friend. Since we met, and as he stepped into my shoes and took over the responsibility of the treasury of IACFA, we saw one another annually during our conferences and EC meetings, we wrote to one another, we exchanged e-mails, and above all we were good friends and loved one another. We spent only a limited amount of time together. But this was quality
time as it was great to have Jose as a friend. Those unseen threads, which
tie us, (between those who live with CF), are indescribable. "…great inspiration to those around him." Jose was a gentleman: responsible, optimistic, wise with a sense of humor, and with great inspiration to those around him. He was involved in 3 circles in his activity among and for the community of CF. The Spanish - local and national, the international - IACFA and ICF(M)A, and the Latin American where he visited and became an extremely favored ambassador: a source of hope, encouragement and optimism. We all love you Jose, we all miss you, and we try to ease the sorrow and grief of your dear family and of your many friends in your home country and around the world. I am sad, but I am rich, with a load of good memories from our times together and our deep ties. May you rest and keep smiling.
The most difficult aspect of dealing with CF isn't the plentitude of medicines and the deterioration of quality of life, but rather losing the dear friends you have come to know and love who share the disease. This past July, IACFA lost Jose Pulido, our treasurer and Latin American
liaison as he was awaiting donor lungs for transplantation. It is so apt
that Jose was IACFA's treasurer because he was truly invaluable, and as
the contact person for those in Latin America, he was a true Spanish friend
who cared deeply. "…calm under pressure and with extreme grace." I first met Jose Pulido (and another good Spanish friend, Aisha Ramos) at Madrid's airport. All of IACFA had arrived to conduct an Executive Committee Meeting, just prior to the 1993 European Conference. Despite being confronted by this mass of people from around the world, Jose wasn't flustered and remained completely in charge. You can be sure that I noted his ability to handle whatever problem arose, calm under pressure and with extreme grace. In fact, if there is one quality of Jose's that everyone immediately noticed was that he was a gentleman in the old fashioned, quality sense of the word. I came to know Jose well, both professionally and personally, over the years. He stayed in my home and was easily the most gracious guest I have ever entertained. He was truly a dedicated volunteer to several organizations that represented CF. Yet CF was not his whole world. He was forever improving his mind by taking college courses (despite having already achieved a degree), the latest a graphic art course to assist with Internet web design. In fact, he submitted a nifty new logo design for the soon-to-be-born organization Cystic Fibrosis Worldwide (CFW). ________________________________________ "…Jose truly relaxed was a beautiful sight." So many memories come to mind, like the time myself and another IACFA
colleague decided it was high time Jose should be married! We asked him
for his description of the perfect mate and were surprised to learn that
he favored redheads and wanted to marry an American! We promised to keep
a look out for prospects. Another time (was it in Madrid or Valencia,
I can't remember) after dinner he and Ami Kolumbus came serenading as
we walked back to our hotel. I'm not sure they were singing the same song
together and probably not even in the same language, but the completeness
of friendship rang from them, and Jose truly relaxed was a beautiful sight. "…he was seething with a love of life!" I guess some may describe Jose as the 'quiet' IACFA person and to some extent, this was true, but not always. He was the friend who enticed me to go to a bullfight (I couldn't) and introduced me to the bullfights involving mounted horses (when he heard I boarded and loved horses). He sent me pictures of a friend who was a well-known horse matador - I forget the exact term used. To my real surprise, since Jose knew all the latest songs and dances, he liked the music of the fifties when he came across some of my small collection. Perhaps the outer façade of Jose appeared quiet to some people but inside he was seething with a love of life! Jose loved his parents and was truly proud of them. I remember meeting his mother once at an airport and commenting on her youthfulness and beauty. He ardently agreed. It was at that same time when Jose and I were flying from Madrid to Valencia together that I was surprised to see hordes of people and a camera crew awaiting us. Relax, Barbara, he advised: IACFA didn't generate this response. He then pointed to a young, attractive and well-known matador flying with us. Lisa Hoyer's retirement party was held at the home of Jose and his parents,
who were easily the most courteous of hosts. After feeding us with wonderful
Spanish food and plying us with special Spanish wines and beers, the senior
Pulidos vanished to another part of the house and allowed us to proceed
with "This is Your Life Lisa"! "Dedication like Jose's is rare." Jose worked on IACFA's financial report for 2002 for the Genoa Conference this year and prepared a fully detailed budget for 2003 days before he died. Dedication like Jose's is rare. Let me use as an excuse my femininity to say that Jose was the quintessential gentleman, opening the car door, standing until his guest is seated, helping one on or off with one's coat, carrying one's packages - everything he did and more. In speech, language, and attitude I can easily see him as a knight of the old order: chivalrous in practice and respectful of all. Yes, Jose was a knight in shining armor - and I always prayed these special heroes would never die. I shall miss you Jose: you deeply and positively touched my life with brilliance.
Jose was a member of the IACFA Executive for a number of years and during that time, he also became a friend. It seems strange to be able to call someone a friend when we had only spent time together in person on a handful of occasions. However, when you consider the quality of the time and the issues that we talked about as individuals and as an Executive it is perhaps less surprising. The news of his passing came as a shock to me as I had been reading his
e-mails that seemed to be saying that it was business as usual while he
waited for the call that donor organs had become available. In the last
e-mail I received from him, he was very positive about life and the future
and told those of us he was writing to that he looked forward to seeing
us at our next meeting. But perhaps that was just Jose: always positive
with his friends in far-flung places, and happy to enjoy the little things
in life. "…a way of making people feel at ease around him." I found Jose to be a man who enjoyed life and who had a way of making people feel at ease around him. He also had a quiet wisdom that saw people take notice when he decided to speak. As Treasurer of IACFA he rearranged our accounts and banking processes so that we earned a better return on our deposits and were able to financially operate the organization much more efficiently. Jose also provided a valuable link to the CF community in Latin America and represented IACFA at the Latin American CF Conference on a number of occasions. I know that he was warmly received and that all who met him or heard him speak appreciated the insight that he provided about living with CF. Jose was able to help promote one of the major aims of IACFA: "To provide Hope for Those Who are to Come", not only through his words but also his actions. I will treasure the times that I had with Jose. Some of those times included
spending a day wandering the streets of San Francisco with a group of
people following a joint CFRI/IACFA Conference and also spending a day
with just Jose and I wandering around San Jose. His sense of fun was ready
to surface at a moment's notice. Taking photos to commemorate our finding
a cure for CF at 'The Tech' in San Jose (If only it were as simple as
pushing the buttons on the touch screen displays) or having a stranger
take our photo in front of a large screen projection of the IACFA website
(also in 'The Tech') and proclaiming that we were going to take over the
world. "…the world is a richer place for the time he spent in it." Jose will be missed by all of us in the CF community who knew him. He had many friends throughout the world and the world is a richer place for the time he spent in it. As with all members of the worldwide CF community, we will remember Jose and keep striving to ensure that people with CF have the same chance to fulfil their goals and aspirations as everyone else. |