Dear Editor
Well, here I am, I’ve confounded all of today’s current crop of critics and celebrated my 40th birthday. Unofficially, I am 10 years past my sell-by date. Not that I am celebrating: I have already done that and got the hangover to prove it.
No, to be truthful, I am depressed, that is to say that I am now a person who will be considered as middle aged, although mentally I am a lot younger! I know, I know, life is supposed to start at the age of 40, blah, blah, blah, but my life begins again when I finish my last dose of Gentamicin and the needle is pulled out of my port. God, it’s a relief to be able to bathe properly and thrash around in bed (answers on a postcard please) without dislodging the needle.
What I have also noticed is that, as a PWCF who is slowly advancing in years, the medical profession starts treating you with a bit more reverence, or is it pity? Other people with CF may disagree. I am now asked what treatment I would like and my thoughts concerning that treatment. Well, my thoughts are unprintable, but then common sense takes over and tells me to accept it, or suffer the consequences. Rebellion is not an option!
Over the past few years, I have been encouraged by the fact that people with disabilities in general have been more readily accepted into society. Things are by no means perfect, but by reaching 40 years of age, and as a PWCF, I no longer feel as self conscious about my condition. If people have a problem with my coughing etc., I take morbid pleasure in telling them the nature of the complaint and what it entails. Additionally, I have become increasingly more bolshy and argumentative when challenged about CF in a negative way. God knows what I will be like when I am 50!
Age is still a mind thing. As a child, everyone wants to be older, so it’s only natural when one gets to a certain age that eternal youth is preferred. It is no different for me even though I have CF and realise that my age is a bonus. I mean, everyday is a bonus when you are alive, despite having a chronic condition. A simplistic view, but it is one that most people would agree with.
You may think it is a big deal reaching 40, but I don’t think it is. Easy for me to say, as I have reached this milestone. It just seems to me that time flies when you are enjoying yourself. Honest!
The only downside that I care to mention is that in November of last year, I had to call it a day with my job as a Housing Officer with a local authority. I can’t deny that my health has declined since I started work 20 years ago, and it dawned on me in my last year of employment that trying to juggle full-time work with an acute illness is not conducive to good long-term health.
I still miss working and would walk back in tomorrow. The people I worked with were a good crowd and were all slightly warped, so I fitted in perfectly. We needed a sense of humour considering the type of work we did.
So, when I tell people I am retired, they initially assume that I am some rich entrepreneur enjoying the fruits of my labours. If only. Don’t get me wrong, it has not been all plain sailing, and I think I am right in saying that to deal with CF you must be determined, fit and sheer bloody minded.
Now, where are my pipe and slippers??!!
Phil Wild
County Durham, UK
